Ode to Chica

Prior to leaving town, I had learned that one of my closest dog friends had to be put to sleep. This is drawing 1 in Ode to Chica.

Off the Wall in Utter Pandemonium

We are sad to see the end of our incredible residency. This last week was a whirlwind heading towards completion. On Monday I was inspired as I learned that a few students had come in early to work and others had been sneaking in to draw at night. A crew of students rallied around us and gave us much emotional/physical support to help complete the installation. Ming, Anna, Alex, Ariel, Robbie, Chung, Gene, Caitlin, Brandon, they put in extensive hours outside of class and it felt like a community when we'd pass each other late night at the building. Cam's idea to "bring what you got" seemed to be especially evident with Alex who, not being in any of the classes with whom we collaborated, volunteered to help build the picture show booth.



Tuesday I met with the painting class while Cam met with drawing. The students turned out some fantastic paintings for their "Animate Objects and I was especially thankful for the people who had completed all their drawings prior to class. Meanwhile the draw-ers covered the installation wall with paint. As we moved onto advanced painting I was energized to see how prepared each painter was with their supplies/ideas to animate.

Running back and forth between the animators and the installation, I began to wear out. Cam and I had a brief tiff that was brought on by exhaustion and the fact that Cam realized that this project had a life of its own of which he might help steer but he definitely did not control. Thanks to the students who kept working as we took a break to relax.

That night we one by one finished our pieces; wall painting, tape drawings, binocular structure. One of my favorite moments was when we tried to "drape" the projection structure, 8 tired artists bumbled around trying to figure out how to rig the fabric to create the illusion of a tent. After stratigizing a couple times, we found a suitable manner to handle the fabric, and luckily in walks Ebony to help embellish and sufficiently finish the front.

As we woke up Wednesday with little sleep, we went to do our final preparations; sweep the floor, turn on the projections, change lights. In the Fibers room I joined the students as I finished painting the horse head. After students put on their costumes, we one by one worked on Pixilation animations set within the Gallery walls. Thanks to Robbie who helped take the pictures. I was so happy with the enthusiasm and willingness of the students to play with me in the gallery in this way.
We got some hilarious human animations. This group picture is one of my favorite photos of our visit.



Ebony arrived with the food just as people began to arrive at the gallery. I meanwhile had been working on the pixilation video which seemed to be a hit as people gathered around me and the projector. I was especially excited when I saw little kids began to take over the space by running into Cube City, jumping over the fabric water, and following the lines on the floor. When we began this project we asked the students questions that related to their own childhood imaginary spaces so this seemed to be evidence of our collective success. Several students thanked Cam and I that night for letting them be involved in the experience.

This was particularly gratifying for me to hear as I had prior to this residency questioned; how do I create a visiting artist experience that directly involves the students in a way so that they are not just creating my work? I was also interested in integrating new practices I had learned through C.A.T. with my older practices of mural making and animation storytelling.

After the opening we shared a few meals with the students. Cam gave his lecture. As we departed from the group of students on Friday we gave a round of hugs, I hope that they will keep in touch and let us know what will happen with their own art practices. In the meantime I'm trying to get them to come to St. Louis for Cam's opening. The students became the face of Lexington for me, not the sites, landscape, history of horses, or fried chicken.

We spent our last few hours hanging out with Ebony sharing food and plotting our future projects. I am glad that I've had some extensive time to be around her as she inspires me with her determination and strait forward teaching style.

Now, Cam and I have safely returned to St. Louis and we luckily avoided the eastern snowstorm. Cam who needs order, unpacked in a frenzy, eager to get working on his upcoming show. Meanwhile I've been taking my time caught between the desire to reflect on this experience, the necessity to complete other projects in St. Louis, and my musings of what next.

Visiting Artist/ Residency Update.

Cam and I have been in Lexington, KY for two weeks now. We have been invited by our friend Ebony to have a visiting artist/ residency. Ebony is a fantastic artist with a wicked sense of style. She grew up in Jamaica but has been in the U.S. since graduate school. We are the pilot for a new type of visiting artist at her school. Her intention was to lock us in the gallery for three weeks, to work, and meet with students, so that we might inspire them and shake up their ideas about art.

some of her work

This trip thus far has been an up and down adventure.
We arrived the first week to talk to an art professions class only to learn on our way back to St. Louis, that our studio had flooded. Thanks to all the people at the studio and Nina's employees from SKIFF, my paintings were rescued, although I think I have lost a few drawings. Ebony was meanwhile dealing with her own sense of loss; she was hearing about friends missing and homes destroyed in Haiti. This gave me perspective on losing a few of my artworks. That night we took her to a few openings at RAC, Good Citizen, and on Cherokee St to distract her..

Returning to KY early Saturday, we began to unpack our things and ideas about the residency. I was really nervous to meet with the faculty Sunday night for dinner. When asked about our ideas for the project I fumbled over my words. (Uggh I hate when I'm not clear or I sound evasive.)

That first week we met with the classes. We gave powerpoints on our different ideas- drawing as a 3d medium, animated painting, and repurposed costumes. We also led them through writing and sketching ideas. I immediately clicked with Ebony's painting classes and we dove into animation lessons. I planned a thrift/ supply shopping trip with the Fiber's teacher Arturo Sanduval for the following weekend. Meanwhile I nervously prepared for a lecture for Friday. When I showed up for my lecture, it turned out I didn't have to go until the following week. I was relieved that meant I could re-edit my talk.

The Saturday shopping trip was fun. I got to meet three students Caitlin, Robbie, and Chung, in addition to hanging out with Arturo. Talking with these students reminded me of all the different life experiences students bring with them as they enter college. It also led to some serious conversations about life purpose, synchronicity, and art making, all in funny places like WalMart and Michaels.




Cam and I prepared for the following week on Sunday. Monday started with a gallop. Met with the Fibers Class. Tuesday was a full out run, 7am-8pm we worked with the drawing students and then stayed to fill in pieces. We had been anxious about getting something up on the wall and once we started we wanted to keep going. The rest of the week we met with painting and fibers students; each day inching closer with the room. Friday I gave my lecture and that was followed by a pizza social for all the collaborators. I was glad to hear a lot of positive feedback from the students. My presentation re-crafting had been effective. That night we watched Beautiful Losers with Ebony.

Saturday morning snow. We had hoped to have a handful of students helping us out, it had turned out to be a small group that regularly showed. I am reminded of my own university experience where there were a handful of us tride and true art students that continually came out for stuff.

The room is enormous and we've put in 18+ hours this weekend. It looks strong but I'm still waiting for the tipping point were some of the student drawings reach completion. Thus far this experience has been really gratifying career wise although the intensity of it has thrown Cam and I off our normal eating/exercising/sleeping routines. Hard labor. My back and shoulders keeps aching and Cam fell of a ladder today. Nonetheless I've been able to test out some ideas of collaboration and have integrated my animation, costumes, painting, and drawing rather seamlessly.


I am looking forward to our opening this week.

The Wisdom Gleaned from Losing things, Losing one's mind, and Getting Lost.

I've been getting lost for as long as I can remember.

When I was five I wandered over to my backyard neighbors house. They served me cookies and promptly contacted my mother. This quality of wanderlust is something my parents have had to reckon with since I was little. As to losing things, I remember when I was young I constantly lost my hair brush. I had these frenzied searches around the house in a panic to find that tool. Which is funny cause now I've got curly hair and I don't even use a brush. But back then I had to learn at some point to let it go. Its sort of like trying to recall a name or bit of information; when I focus on it I can't remember, when I forget about it, suddenly the word pops into my head.

Where to Begin.

On December 18th I left on a journey to help my sister move from Long Beach, CA to South Carolina via St. Louis.

My sister Mary, a serious athlete and business woman, is 7yrs younger than me. She has been working for a swim line for the past three years. In June they moved her to CA for a better position, by November the company had undergone a series of internal restructuring that meant my sister would have to become A. a collection agent or B. a computer telephone marketer. My sister has had an internal search for self purpose for the past couple of years and so I believe she saw this an out to try something new or to follow her gut and leave business America.

My parents asked if I would be interested in helping her move and it fit perfectly with my teaching schedule. I flew out to Long Beach exhausted from a week of teaching and the previous weekend's CAT program. When I arrived I immediately noticed that I had lost my video camera. I attempted to contact the Dallas airport terminal as I remembered setting it next to me as I wrote at the gate. I've been trying to telepathically will my camera back to me since then. No Luck.

True, its a three year old consumer camera and I should invest in a pro-sumer one anyways because its limitations at some effected the color and zoom qualities in my animation, but I definitely felt remorse. This was one of the most expensive things I have owned/bought and as my first video camera, I'm a bit sentimental about it. In that moment I had to let go of my loss so that I could enjoy my sister's presence and our pending adventure.

My visit to CA looked something like this---->
Play around Southern California including a few I'll blog on later;
-Shops in Long Beach
-Parade of Boats
-eating oranges from a tree in the courtyard
-Museum of Jurassic Technology
-Hammer Museum Charles Burchfield
-Traffic
-Yoga Class
-Mexican Market/ Art Market


The Harrowing Journey Home
Monday morning we began packing my sister's car until it was so stuffed and we had to pitch extra stuff.

Before leaving we considered a surfing lesson, but decided not to because of the cost and time. Instead we headed down towards Newport Beach and went hiking around an area called Crystal Cove. As we were watching the surfers and looking for whales, my sister exclaimed, "Let's go swimming!"

Thinking that this was her closure ritual for the end of the CA chapter of her life, I agreed. My sister went in first as she has a wet suit to test out. After she got flipped around by the waves I decided to join her, in my swimsuit, mind you in freezing December ocean water. We ran in and screamed and laughed about the coldness of the water and our failed attempts to ride the waves while swimming. As we ran back up the stairs of the cliff, a man watching the water said "You must feel like you can do anything in the world." Not a bad way to begin a journey.

Fresh from a swim and outdoor shower we headed towards Kingman, only to get caught in 2hrs of traffic heading out of L.A.. Despite the traffic, the initial ride was optimistic. At about 8pm we arrived in Barstow and ate at a McDonald's shaped like a train station. This McDonald's was like the bar in Star Wars; a random assortment of people in various routes of travel.

We stopped in Needles to sleep and it was then that I discovered my phone was missing. The next morning Cam called my sister's phone and said that a kid had found my phone on the ground in Barstow and she had been texting him all night to let him know they were waiting for someone to return for the phone. My theory is the phone fell out of the jam packed car. Did I mention that I had to fit all my bags in the passenger seat?

I was upset about my phone and more anxious about why I kept losing things, but I figured that at least my sister still had her phone and it sounded like the family who found my phone were going to mail it back to me. Forward with the trip, our goal that day was to drive to Alberquerque to stay with cousins. We should have seen it as a bad omen when we saw snow in the Mojave Dessert.

By the time we were close to Flagstaff we came to a stand still on the Highway.
Passing the time with knitting and needlepoint, we tried to make the best of our wait. I tried to walk up the road to see where the traffic jam started but could see end. Snow and wind burning my face, I turned around to walk back to our car. Along the way people rolled down there windows to ask what I saw, "nothing" I said. But these conversations formed a short narrative; this road did see a lot of snow, but if we were stuck too long the trucks wouldn't make it up the pass and would have to change tires, everyone seemed to have a little food, a few let their dogs run around or had snowball fights. One man even suggested an ingenious way for women to pee in a traffic jam while snowing. Form an enclosure by stretching a blanket between the door of the car and the car body. Pee inside this enclosure. My sister and I did this twice each. This traffic jam dialogue was the closest sense of community I had ever made on the highway. Four hours later we began to inch along the road, by this time there was a great deal of snow. As we headed towards flagstaff we saw cars and trucks that had run of the road. Discouraged by the time (7pm), road conditions, and lack of light, we decided to stay in Flagstaff. That night we tried to run to a yoga class-that we missed, bought wool socks, and ate soup.

The next morning we work up early to work out and to get a head start. My sister navigated us through the rest of Arizona. We stopped at an Indian Jewelry store where I bought a few gifts and a good luck Kachina doll. I started driving through New Mexico only to be stopped in another traffic jam outside of Alberquerque. Two hours later, we finally escaped and pulled over into a McDonald's. My sister took over the drive and we found ourselves in an intense snow storm. This was the sort of snow storm where you just had to focus on the yellow lines on the road and try and drive in the wheel path from the trucks ahead. The most difficult quality about highway driving in this sort of storm was the mesmerizing trance inspiring movement of snow. It began to look like a matrix or Cam aptly described it later as a sort of Warpspeed visual effect. I noticed Mary driving all over the highway lane. She could no longer see the lane, so I volunteered to take over. By this time the cars were just driving in a slow straight line. This path was further enforced by several miles of highway road work. Mary and I had decided there was no way to get to our goal destination, Oklahoma City, so we found a hotel in Tucumari. Furthermore after several discussions with our father, who had been looking at the radar, there was no clear route for us to take to avoid storms. As we approached the town of Tucumari I began to freak out. I could not see the road, people were driving all willy nilly, and I had almost followed a truck off an exit while trying to stay on the road. My sister counted down the miles with the help of her Garmin. I wanted to exit as soon as possible.
"Let me out of this car I can't drive anymore!" I yelled.
She insisted I stay on the road till our exit, we narrowly missed it and I drove through the grass to get of the highway. Arriving at our hotel we were uncertain if we would be home for Christmas. We began to joke about putting gas station items in each other's shoes and a Christmas dinner at Denny's.

The next morning we woke at 6 to begin the drive. My sister got on the phone with my dad who told her that we could not go South because its forecast was terrible and we could not go North because that forecast was horrible. We just had to stay on 40. Getting back on the highway we noticed several more crashed, flipped, or abandoned vehicles along the icy road. As we passed Amarillo we were encouraged that there appeared to be less snow. We began to experience huge gusts of wind. The wind would pick up the snow swirl it around and create a 10-20ft blanket of invisibility on the highway. This "white out" completely freaked out my sister and she began to slow down. I began to panic that we might get hit from behind and encouraged her to keep a steady pace. Suddenly we reached another highway stand still.

After sitting for an hour we began to consider off roading our vehicle to the route 66 which appeared to be next to us beyond a ditch. We saw a few cars behind us drive this path. An hour later, after contacting our father and boyfriends, we decided to try to cross the ditch. With Cam on the phone, I asked him to talk us through the process. My sister was nervous as she began the diagonal descent and thought initially the car might tip over on my side. As we headed up the other side she was certain it would tip on her and she started to slow down,
"just accelerate" I yelled. As we reached the road we began screaming with joy.
Cam panicked yelled, "What's going on?" (he thought we had tipped and were dying). "Never do that again to me." he said.
We drove further only to reach another standstill. I began to panick I could not be in this car any longer and I could not wait along the highway. Suddenly the women who had been behind us appeared alongside our car.
"I'm going to find out what's going on", she said.
"I've got to get to Illinois and I'm not waiting on this road."
She reported back to us that we were stalled by a 10 car pileup no doubt caused by the white outs. We could wait here for at least another 2 hours or we could head up north by country roads to a town called Pampas. We decided to go to Pampas.
When we arrived at a Pampas gas station we were surprised to meet many other travelers on this same detour. In the gas station we compared routes as my sister talked on the phone with my dad, "weather center". My dad wanted us to continue North and head towards Wichita because he thought we just might miss the bulk of the storm. The others at the station thought we should head back towards a later exit on 40. My sister and I had actually preferred the North facing roads because they did not have white outs because of the direction of the wind. We decided to head towards Wichita.

I started to enjoy the drive, rolling hills, expansive plain, snow covered landscapes that made me think of the moon. As discussed in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintenance there is something preferable about roads over highways. Roads allow a person to really get a sense of a place where as highways are just about getting from point A to point B.
I was surprised too that we were able to travel faster on the roads then we had been traveling on the highway most of our trip.

Nearly in Kansas by night, my sister took over driving, the last 30 miles into Wichita we once again experienced less severe white outs. We could at least see people's brake lights. Arriving at our friend Travis' house on Christmas Eve, I felt great relief to be around people that I cared about. I was also moved by the notion that like the Christmas story we were welcomed into someone else's home and for a short time could take refuge from the road. Filled with food, wine, and the celebratory spirit of the Russell house, we fast fell asleep.

Up at 6am, we began to prepare for hopefully our last journey. My sister laughed when she saw the McDonald's toy, glow bracelet, and route 66 postcard I left for her in her shoe. With luggage in tow, she headed down to warm up the car. Travis and I checked out the weather news. It seemed like Oklahoma City had been slammed by snow and hwy 40 was shut down after a 20 car pileup. I hoped that our friend"Illinois" had made it out of there safely. Our route seemed ok, KC was slammed with snow but we could at least make it there.

Following my sister a little later to the car, I heard a strange clicking sound as I approached. It was the clicking of the engine not starting! Our car had died Christmas morning. I went back into Travis's house and called Triple A. The woman on the phone told me,
"Well I can place this request but I have no idea how long it will take for them to get to you, there are accidents all over the place, I would encourage you not to drive."
Luckily a half hour later someone showed up started our car.
"How's the weather we asked?"
"Check out what I'm towing."
My sister and I walked around to the back of his truck to see a completely mangled car.

Climbing into our car we hesitantly began our last stretch of the trip. At this point we were past making destinations or goals. We felt defeated and exhausted. Sick of driving with such anxiety somehow, Mary pulled it together and managed to drive us to Kansas City. We figured if KC was too hard to cross we would just stop and see a movie. As she approached 70 she seemed exhausted from driving and slightly traumatized by all the cars we saw along the KC stretch of highways.
"Just pull into a gas station and I'll start. I know this road well."
(from many trips between KC, Columbia, and St. Louis)

In the gas station, before I began, I drank coffee, stretched, and tried to psyke myself up. Back in the car, I put on music that I could sing to and tried to stay attentive to the road. The snow and ice was in unpredictable patches. The wind flurries were not as bad as Oklahoma so I began to feel confident about getting home that day.

As we came closer to St. Louis, we tried to make sense of this unexpected dramatic journey.
Mary said, "I have been feeling really discouraged and not confident about my job. And this whole not knowing what to do...Maybe this trip is a reminder that I can overcome many difficult things even ones that are completely out of my hands".

For me , I had been wanting to connect with my sister and needed head space to think and re-prioritize. Being forced off the grid by lack of phone, internet access, and traumatic weather was one way to have that space.

We made it home for Christmas dinner at 5pm. I was overjoyed to see Cam and my family and to stop driving.

In closure
At the heart of my favorite cross-country travels
I experience expansive landscapes
Quirky roadside stores and gas stations.
Nostalgia for the history of the highway and car culture.
Taste testing of the world.
Opportunity for synchronicity with strangers.
Thinking space.
Chance to find out new music via car companions and cross-country radio stations.

Losing things is really about letting go. Allowing life to be bumpy and awkward. Trusting that if you can’t find something now it may turn up later. Following the directions of others. Sticking with the road long enough to stumble upon something unexpected and extraordinary. It’s a giving up of control because of extraneous situations and an acceptance of whatever outcomes may arrive. Sure when I was at the fourth traffic jam I lost it but in that breakdown I acknowledged at the very least I was alive and not in an accident. To be lost is to get temporarily off the grid removing the daily patterns and notions of self until what remains is the meanderings of the mind, the body a vessel within a vessel, and a location in motion. When I get physically lost; inside all that confusion, anxiety, and searching, I find myself.

How we mark the passing of time- Lifelong Learners and the inventions of Problem Solving

T-day Photo Shoot with Cam
Thanksgiving and on through December is a whirlwind blur of activity, in accordance with this fast pace I am going to write on events of the past two weekends.

Thanks Rituals
I've been gathering with friends and family for over ten years now at my parents house. The mom's cook the food, the dad's entertain, and we kids make appetizers and drinks or sometimes nothing at all. The years have been marked by people lost to death or moves, visitors gained -transient college students, and new members born. (My bf was even a T-Day guest before we were dating.) We talk about everything and nothing and our bellies are filled with the deliciousness that we haven't had since the year before. This Thanksgiving ritual helps us mark the passing of time.

I've decided to profile one of my best friends that regularly attends as she is one of my favorite people and she embodies qualities that I admire.

Life Long Learner pt 1.
Emily P
-Grew up in St. Louis
-Went to college in Vermont
-Plays volleyball, skies, snowboards, bikes, climbs.
-One of my longtime collaborators on art projects including; zines, furniture rehab, art projects, and aerobic dances.
-Was my first yoga teacher.
-Once sent a friend a piece of mountain lion poop in the mail.
-Built a tree house with a nudist that liked to chain saw as such.
-Used to ride a motorcycle.
-Can teach herself to do anything, like playing the banjo or harmonica.
-Secretly planted tree seedlings all over Columbia, MO Johnny Appleseed style earning her the nick name Emmy tree seed.
-Would like to one day build an adult jungle gym in her backyard that is made out of rocks and trees.
-I was afraid of her in middle school.
-We went to Spain at the same time in high school.
-Is studying to be a doctor of Physical therapy.
-We shared a studio at her grandpa's house and secretly filled his basement with objects we collected from the trash that we planned on refurbishing.
-Have been roomates 2x's.
-Makes delicious "healthy cookies", cucumber soup, and african peanut soup.
-Has lived all over U.S.
-Shares a love of Joseph Campbell.
-Studied Biology and Art
-Can build beautiful gardens- she once made our entire backyard at a rented house into a garden. One beautiful summer night during an art show we laid blankets all over the yard between the plots of plants and lit candles. People played guitar and ate perfectly ripe cherry tomatoes from the vine.

Lifelong Learners Part II
Charles and Ray Eames (photo of them building Mathematica Exhibit)
I bought the boxed set of their videos for my youngest brother. We watched half of them over T-Day weekend. These two knew about everything; design, computers, bread, Day of the Dead, sea creatures, Thomas Jefferson. I was left dizzy and dumbfounded by my initial experience of their videos and their apparent genius. Like Emily from above, they were fascinated by all aspects of life and they seemed to find everything significant or special in some way from the molecular to outer space. Brett W. showed Powers of Ten to my CAT group and I had seen a stop motion of their chairs, but I had no idea the extent of their exploration; it sort of beautiful just to see two people that seem committed to life long learning. While they may have had specialties in art and design this never limited them from learning and collaborating with other fields.

Lifelong Learners Part III.
Fantastic Mr. Fox



It's almost like Wes Anderson could have been animating all along. Or rather how exciting to see how his directing/editing techniques from live action film exist in an animated movie.


I've long considered Anderson to be a present day film auteur because of the style of his movies. Again we have the yellow titles, the thorough presentation of characters in their environments, the long slow pan outs, the energizing classic boy rock, and the tales of male adventures/ search for purpose.
The casting of the various animated creatures is spot on especially with George Clooney as the fox and Maryl Streep as his wife. Even Jason Schwartzman plays an effective brooding teenager. The animation has the same dreamy golden kodachrome look as his films. One accidental happening I especially love, is the way the fur on their faces move, I believe its a result of when they manipulate the puppets. This what I imagine most closely depicts Anderson's imaginary world. I wanted this film to last far longer than its hour and half because this world is quite captivating.


Three of my favorite adventures from this weekend

1. My cousin Hannah was visiting this weekend and she is a fashion designer. We both like to thrift shop and so my mom was thrilled to tell us about the vintage dress sale at Scholarshop. We joined hordes of mainly women at their Webster location on Saturday morning to peruse over a thousand vintage dresses. While we did find some cute outfits, we didn't want to lose our day waiting in long lines to try on and pay for dresses but what a blast to see all those people excited about vintage dresses. My cousin laughed that most of them were from JcPenny and how odd to see them sell for more now than they probably did originally.

2. These Changes Make us Light
Saturday night we went to the annual Holiday show May These Changes Make us Light held this year at the Archive. Archive is a newly opened bookstore occupying what used to be City Art Supply. The Changes Show is a variety show tied loosely together through a different narrative each year. Embracing ideas of togetherness, diversity, and healing, this year's show highlighted video pieces from a movie project called Atnas, songs by Firedog and Yuletide Express, as well as a few modern dances. I really enjoyed the visual effect of the light up tree costume worn by Amber (below) who I understand is an owner of the Archive. Pantyhose and colored silks were draped and sewn to create roots and a limb system that extended from her hands. She did a modern dance that incorporated slow movments often referencing the "yogic" tree posture.


I've helped with this show in year's past and I know that the group of collaborators worked hard to pull the show together after losing their space a week before the performance. In response, they tried to incorporate audience participation more as anything relating a stage had been eliminated. This was especially effective during the Yuletide Express Performance as the choir slowly enveloped the entire room and the line between performer and participant was erased. The Atnas videos (made by Rebecca Rivas and Kelsey) were fun and playful they moved between Lyndsey singing soulfully along the flood wall and the advice of a sassy female rapper. I had given Lyndsey some training on animation so I also enjoyed seeing her animating language emerge, particularly all the ways she was able to bring inanimate objects and photographs to life just by using them as props in her animation. Also she effectively created an overall feeling of the journey of her character through the juxtaposition of stuff. Marc Pagano and Celia were as exuberant as ever this time adding in a new dance song, The Age of Aquarius. I think that this group really problem solved their loss of space in an effective way because the audience never knew when something was going to end or begin. The only difficulty was because the front door was by the viewing area when a large group walked in I felt I should politely move back so that they could have a chance to see and then I could not see anything.

3. Highway 40 Promenade
Today I went to the Highway 40 re-opening Public Walk. What an amazing experience to realize the scale of a highway by walking it. My brother remarked that this was the only time we would experience how far apart the exits actually were. Walking and biking terrain makes you suddenly more conscious of all the twists, turns, and hills on the road. There appeared to be huge turnout of people;on bike, skateboard, rollerblade, with dogs, jogging, even a marching band. I am huge fan of pedestrian cities and I love interventions such as this when a space we usually experience as one way is suddenly made to be something else. It felt like all of St. Louis had come out to Promenade along the highway. Talking with family and friends later, it made us wish that this was a regular event. Come on can't you see it once a month we close a part of the highway down and everyone gets out and just walks, solving obesity, and isolation, activities could change; in the winter an ice rink, in summer a slip and slide, in the spring an evening dance!
Photo by Billy Paulsen

Not Real, and a clean sweep.

Friday I worked in the studio and has a series of understandings and discoveries in my painting. I even figured out what I wanted to paint next.

That night I went to Good Citizen Gallery to check out Eric Troffkin's show Not Real. Eric was one of my graduate instructors and I think of him as a sort of parent figure. He was a great teacher; the kind that got invested in who you were as an artist and tried to give you advice in align with your goals. He was also very honest about the art world and lack of jobs post grad school. I knew that he was an excellent technician and that he had extensive model building skills, he even worked for James Turrell.

When I walked in the room I first noticed on the left wall several crystal like shapes in pastel colors hanging from the ceiling and slightly grouped together. On the right wall I saw a series of light boxes that appeared to be close ups of these installations although with different lighting situations. As I moved through the crowd, I saw that the floor was covered with piles of hexagonal shapes in a variety of pastel colors. They were stacked in a manner that made me think of; people that balanced plates, honeycomb, and candy. The color of many items in the room was reminiscent of candy and in that tradition the gallery served Spree and Jellybeans in addition to the regular cheese/cracker/wine spread. Gotta love a space with a sense of humor.

There were three hanging installations. Direct lights forced strong shadows to appear on the back wall, shadows that were larger than the original piece so that they became an additional form. (Sort of like Tim Noble and Sue Webster only not figurative or representational)


Initially I had a lot of questions: What were these forms made of? Did he dye them himself? Were they related to platonic solids? What was this idea of the lense flare?

An ever-teacher Eric answered all these questions for me. They were made of cast foam and he mixed the different colors. They were not platonic solids because there is no six sided platonic solid.

Lense flare is a visual that appears in photos but is not a real occurence. Typically it appears as starbursts, rings, or circles on a photograph or in a film. This odd effect happens when light scatters in a lens system because of reflection, strong bright lights, or an irregularity on the lens. It's shape is determined by the six parts of the aperture.

Did you know? A lens flare is used to suggest drama. It was an effect in early computer graphics. Think Easy Rider and Star Trek.



The color scheme was inspired by the color of his young daughter's toys. Each installation is created in a new way as it is shown in a different venue. The shadow of the object is as important (possible more so?) than the hanging objects as it is another illusion, a shadow that is not real. This is a really terrific and visually playful show by a serious sculptor.

Saturday I returned to my studio, this time I had the intention to clean. I had to re-sort and organize materials and space post project. Five hours later I began to paint. Well mid painting I got tired, which kind of sucked because I had hoped to solve a little more. I ran out of patience and focused energy. For awhile I was depressed; that the painting had not been solved, that I'd used most of my day to clean. I wanted the Eureka! feelings of Friday to continue. In the end I decided to go on an adventure with Emily H. At 11pm we went out for a drink and then ended up at a dance party. The change of scenery, infectious music, and hilarity of being one of the "old people" at a party was enough to lighten my spirits.

Today the cleaning spree continued at my house. My bf is a total neat freak so when we started cleaning it was like a chain reaction the next thing you know he had cleaned the whole house. After preparing for my teaching classes, I went to Jill A's house. She bought a painting from me. (Painting on right) She has quite a collection of St. Louis art. She is a wine sommelier. Which makes me think Kudos to her for also being a young art collector. I think that is something that could be further explored in St. Louis, encouraging young people to collect art. I really enjoyed sharing a glass of wine with her and swapping travel stories. We had been acquaintances for a several years and it was connecting to see who she was as a person. Plus she has a cool dog.

This week if you are looking to do something fun on Thursday night the White sisters are playing records at Royale. Promises to be fun dancing.

Precious and Late Night Two Step

This weekend I went to CAT workshops on Friday and Saturday. I was lucky to win two tickets to the screening of Precious as part of the St. Louis Film Festival. I had just completed the book as part of CAT. The movie was strong although not as powerful as the book. The book graphically described the incest, abuse, and cycles of violence as experienced by the main character Precious, an overweight African American 16yr old, mother of two, and her schoolmates. These girls overcame their traumatic life experiences largely as they learned to read and write, going from illiterate to regular writers. I had questioned how they would portray graphic parts in the film like the moments that the main character Precious was molested., there were some strong metaphorical visual stand-ins, like stop motion footage of a ceiling crumbling in. The character mentally escaped to a dreamlike glitzy space where she was dancing, fabulous, and the center of attention in a Hollywood like manner, think Diamonds are a girls bestfriend. The film did an effective job creating a sense of the setting (Harlem) and time period (80's)for this character. However I missed hearing the voices of the other schoolmates. In the book their stories were developed as side voices and companions to Precious, this emphasized the severity and regularity of violent/abusive home lives. All in all, I was happy that this story was made into a film as it told a story that usually does not make it to the big screen, without a happy ending, and without a typical Hollywood star. Also Mariah Carey plays a surprising role as the counselor in a very unflattering black wig.



Ended Saturday night at Dave Johnson's house. A sort of old timey romantic gentleman and free spirit, Dave asked if anyone wanted to two step. B.J. and I had just been talking with a girl who danced at SIUE. Dave swooped her off her feet and twirled he around the room. She shouted out "look at me I'm dancing the two step". I heard joy in their footsteps. Their dance ended as her taxi arrived and she took off into the night. Late night spontaneity.

Cam and I finished Drive By Installation today. Check out the corner of Compton and Cherokee to see this new incarnation of the ant circus.