She signed her name with cloth.

The beginning of Bricaleur-ing events started with a Woman's Circle and from that circle I gained my mantra for the past couple of weeks, "I have all the time in the world". This seemed to get me through a week without anxiety. I am not going to write much more on the woman's circle because its a rather private affair but I can say that we did break into inspiring music making at one point. Things seem to continue at a whirl wind pace although I am trying to still find moments to slow down.


This past weekend went to Cindy Tower's opening at Bruno David. She is one of my favorite teachers and painters. Her practice has had a huge influence on me. I was happy to see her paintings in such a large space.
Saturday we had a play parade shoot on Cherokee Street it was great fun to be out with other parade supporters in costume on the street. After our photo shoot I went down to Gondo to show friends around. I enjoyed the pace of people coming in and out of the gallery as we hung out. My mom stuck around and helped me begin to piece together the quilt we started at the opening.



Sunday I worked on my painting and then Lyndsey and I met up to start a kickstarter fund-raising video for the People's Joy Parade. I will post it once it is ready. We had a joyful time responding to the spontaneous encounters we had on the street. I got to hang out and shop at the Finder's Hive and was happy to get a range of materials that I will use in an upcoming animation. I spent Sunday night with my family and was able to connect with my sister who was in town.

My mom sewing with Tinka.

Monday I got edited the video, worked, and then headed down to Gondo for the sewing bee. The sewing bee was an amazing night. I'd estimate that 25-30 people passed through to help us and it was a fantastic range of people; kids from the neighborhood, mother and daughter, old friends, out of towners. One encounter that especially moved me was when a man named Chuck showed up to share the legacy of his wife, Doris McManis, a quilter. She died in January from liver cancer. He brought a few of her quilts and a self published book on her work and pointed out many of the hidden ideas and details contained in her work. At the end of her book was a quote that Doris had sewn on a quilt, I found it particularly moving and applicable to the show; "It is not a woman's desire to be forgotten and so she signed her name with cloth."

Chuck talking about Doris.

For whatever reason yesterday I got ants in my pants to send out the parade emails. I guess cause I felt nervous that time was approaching and I had not put it on peoples radar. Nonetheless I sent out a critical mass and Facebook posting. Whenever I have such a large internet presence though I start to get nervous about being an annoying poster so now I am going to chill on the email voice for a few days. For whatever reason I woke up again last night; the anxiety had started again, unable to fall asleep I checked online to see the RFT review of Bricaleur-ing.


I am completely satisfied with the review which felt really rewarding. Finally after still not being able to sleep I decided just to start working so I begin editing the movie again and worked until 9:30 am. At which point I decided to take a nap. I return tonight from another evening of working on the quilt which has become large!

Nonetheless my mind is agitated, so many projects I want to work on, my time keeps disappearing. I question how I fit into the St. Louis art scene and what options there are for me to show next. I keep my faith that these attempts at sustainability for the parade, for my art practice, will have results. I reflect now that this was how and where I first began talking about the parade, I think this year getting it together will be a lot easier and that gives me some relief.

Certain questions remain in my mind:
Why do I make the things that I do? Can all practices exist equally? (social practice, painting, animation) How is it that even when I theoretically have more time, I seem to still have the same busyness? that would point at me as the problem.

Not to knock busyiness some is great but i.e. tonight I wanted to go to a lecture but I had already committed to finishing the quilt and could not make it. Well, tomorrow night we've got Emily H. singing at Gondo. Friday there is the Broad shoulders film night. I am excited but hoping to have a little peace and ease among it all.