Bad Luck and ticket to Spain!

My dear reader; while the first part of this post is rather depressing and downhearted I promise you that the second half ends on a positive note.

Incident 1- I thought my car had bad brakes so I took it to the mechanic. My family was leaving town Thursday so my mom loaned me her car. Sunday, Cam and I decided to drive down to the Pevely Flea Market. We left his studio in my mom's car with an armful of CDS and hopped onto the highway. Almost immediately Cam yelled, "The car is in red!" He pulled off the road and the hood began to emit smoke. When he opened the hood he discovered that the radiator was busted. The car was not driveable. Luckily our friend Ian was at the studio at his auto shop so he came down and towed us back to the studio. My friend Amy came and picked us up and drove us to my parent's house so I could borrow my brother's car.

Incident 2- The next day I started my first day of teaching animation classes. It was a rugged tiring group but I figured I would persist. On Tuesday I left the class to go teach the first day of a painting class with Saint Louis Art Museum at Lincoln in Riverview Gardens. Following a nutritious lunch at OR Smoothie, I headed downtown towards 70. As I made my way down Walnut turning left on to the next road, I was smashed by an oncoming car. Screaming until the car stopped, I in a daze realized I was still alive and climbed out the passenger door. A teenage girl got out of the other car as I yelled
"I had a green!".
"I know!" she said sheepishly "are you okay?".
She was also on her way to her first day of work. With some help from Cam I determined I was ok and filed the police report all the while consoling the young girl who seemed shocked that she could have killed me. Cam loaned me his car and I made my way toward the art class. When I arrived I said,
" I feel like I survived something to get here!" My poor family, I am car cursed.

Incident 3- The unruly students at my animation class accidentally broke the fire wire input on my camera as they were working. I learned that it would be $300 for the Canon repair services to even look at my camera. I had been using my camera because the supplies I usually have access to through the school were not made available for me.

Incident 4- I received an email from my exchange sister Rocio in Spain that said she was getting married and... could I come in less than a month? I having no money and little time felt totally depressed that I couldn't go.

All of these incidents sent me into a three day depression were I became uber aware of time, money, and effort.
Time- in that I was aware that time was passing fast and I did not think I was doing all the things that I wanted to do. Particularly because I had to keep spending my studio time to fix the problems.
Money- because I did not have the money to go to Spain and I have been saving for three years to go on a trip with Cam but still had made little headway.
Effort- because all these incidents made me feel like I should not try anymore as frustrating stuff just kept happening to me!

Along the way I had some good cheerleaders, my friend Jenn convinced me to go to my studio instead of a meeting. My friend Emily cheered me up with her funny stories. Cam kept me sane and drove me around during a crucial "I give up moment".

Right after all this happened, a little over a week ago, I had a dream that I was watching someone's dog at a wedding. The dogs legs fell off and I got freaked out. The dog just started running around in pure joy. I couldn't figure out why, but the dog didn't even notice it was injured. The dog and I ran into the church for the wedding. Meanwhile a storm of tornado approached the packed church. Everyone was watching the death storm through the glass windows. I thought I would die and so I started to look for all my friends and family. The storm passed and there was a clear beautiful sky.

I woke up after this dream and felt certain that I would stop letting the small stuff get me down. Although, my back was aching, I decided to chose not to focus on it and instead would get to work on my art, classes, and schemes.

While my back continued to cause me pain the rest of this past week, instead of giving it energy I tried to distract myself with all the little things I could do. I used the immobility in my studio as a moment to focus on building animation paintings. Changing my mindset also helped me listen to my inner dreamer vs. the complainer.

As I went to email Rocio about not being able to go to her wedding, I began to consider the possibility that I could go. I looked at my teaching schedule, I could probably miss the last two days. I considered my work for the RAC Critical Mass show, I could focus and simplify and work hard now to have the time for this trip. Finally I even started looking at tickets, steep but maybe possible if I used a credit card or took my dad up on his offer to use his frequent flyer miles.

I don't really like to travel at this point unless I can shoulder the bill. I feel guilt about using the hard work of my dad to pay for the flight. I talked with my dad a couple of time and it sounded like he wasn't going to use them, in fact even if I used some for Spain, he'd still have some left over. After a frenzy of date checking and confirmation that I wasn't skipping out on any responsibilities, I got a ticket!

On July 21 st I will be traveling to Madrid, Spain and then to the village of Las Pedroneras so I can attend my dear exchange sister Rocio's wedding! I can't wait. I haven't been there for 10 years.

During all the drama of the past month, I had fun starting an Etsy account. "La Sarahnita sees the World" is a collection of older artworks that I am happy to share and sell in hopes of furthering my art circles and raising funds for more studio time this fall and future travel dreams next summer. Please check it out and let me know what you think.


Lyndsey Scott said…
Such a powerful whirl..... so glad you are okay!!!, and tuned into your dreams as your guide. Amazing that vas a volver a Espanya tambien! I love your life journey and you and am so glad to stay posted via this blog, it is a gift to hear your outlook, persistence, and creativity in action. I miss you!

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