What's Stopping You?
Last Sunday my parents and I discussed this:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most.
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Nelson Mandela quoting Maryanne Williamson
My mom at first didn't quite understand the quote as she thought she'd never been afraid of "the light". My dad said that the thing the that stopped him was his sense of what he thought others expected of him. Bingo I very much connected with this idea and I said that by being other people's ideas of ourselves we were not "living in the light".
I bring this quote up because today I am on my third snowday, I feel fantastic. I have nearly completed a to do list and this rarely happens for me. I now feel like I can go to my studio with a very open heart and mind and not be distracted by things to do. I am so thankful because I have been asking for less work and help to simplify so that I could be in my studio. But you know what I feel a little guilty. I'm gonna let it go that's for sure.
Tangent story: Why I love men.
Last night I went sledding at Art Hill with Cam and Dave. The night was gorgeous the fountains were on, the air smelled like firewood from the bonfires, people were talking in different languages. They sledders looked like a series of playful shadows darting down the hills. The three of us had been sharing a sled after a few failed attempts at using a garbage lid. Cam and I even mastered a two person spider on the tiny disk. Towards the end of the night Cam and Dave borrowed an identical disk sled and decided to race. They raced down the hill but Dave unfortunately went over a bump and flew off his sled. Cam feeling the victor strutted around a bit. I was ready to leave as I had earlier busted my lip. Confidently Cam yells I'm going down for one more. He looks at the hill with determination, takes a running start, and Bam! twists his ankle and falls to the ground. I start laughing because I did the same thing earlier, only Cam is not getting up. He is moaning. Dave and I run over to him, I'm all freaked out cause I'm afraid he broke his ankle. He crawls up top and says he thinks it's ok. Stands up and starts limping towards the car. Dave offers to help him but I think at this point his pride is a little wounded so he declines. I drive us to Schnuck's and buy ice and a bandage. When we get home he elevates his leg, it looks ok, maybe a little swollen. My poor boyfriend the sledding champ is injured and missed his last ride!